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Recent Posts
 15:37 | 14/Oct/2006 | 5 Comment(s)
naming the new born

 

A BIHARI WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HIS

wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna ( Bihar).

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";

If it is the third neighbour then it would
be "TRIVEDI",

If it is the fourth neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI";

If its the fifth neighbour then it would
be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because
of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...

And if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY."

Permalink 
 15:24 | 14/Oct/2006 | 0 Comment(s)
deadly pj

Ek baar ki baat hai......
Chantu aur Bantu khandala jaa rahe hote hain!!!!
unki caar kharab ho jaati hai.....
wo dono car wahiin chordh ker paidal chal padte hain!!!!


Raste mei ek surang aati hai....
chantu darr jaata hai...per bantu kehta hai..mai paar karke dikhaunga....
Per DUE TO UNAVAILABLITY OF TORCH....Bantu har baar takra kar wapas aa jaata hai....
Tabhi chantu apnii jeb se DUS ka note nikalta hai....apne haath ko blade se kaat ke..DUS ke note ko khoon mei bhigo leta hai......
aur aaram se surang paar kar jaata hai...~~~




abb mylord.!!!
sawaal ye uthta hai....
aakhir chantu ne surang paar kar kaise lii.....













































batao...






































kya wo alladin ka bichda hua bhaiee tha...............

























ya fir...............nahi nahi..



























































chalo mai batata hun....















































chantu ne surang isliye paar kalii




























kyuki





































uske paas "LAAL TEN" THAAA!!!


Permalink 
 13:55 | 9/Oct/2006 | 0 Comment(s)
pappu pas ho gaya

*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE? "
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."

*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
didn't punish
him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and
one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that
at
home.

*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your
brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no
longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

Permalink 
 18:57 | 24/Sep/2006 | 0 Comment(s)
Steve Irwin is dead.

A LIFE-long friend of Steve Irwin today told how the Crocodile Hunter pulled a deadly stingray barb from his own chest before losing consciousness and dying.

Friend John Stainton said he had viewed footage of his friend's last moments and the  images were  "shocking".

"It's a very hard thing to watch because you're actually witnessing somebody die ... and it's terrible," he said.

"It shows that Steve came over the top of the ray and the tail came up, and spiked him here (in the chest), and he pulled it out and the next minute he's gone.

"That was it. The cameraman had to shut down."

Irwin , 44, was filming a television program on the Great Barrier Reef off far north Queensland when the drama unfolded yesterday.

Mr Stainton said Irwin's wife, Terri, who rushed to Queensland from a holiday in Tasmania after being told of the tragedy, was putting on a brave face for the sake of her children. 

"I think she's being very strong," he said in Cairns , where Irwin's body has been taken.

"I think for the children's sake she has to be strong because they're at a very impressionable age, as you know.

"Bindi's eight and little Robert's coming up to three, so he may not totally understand, but Bindi certainly does.

"She's very mindful of how she has to control her emotions to get the kids through it."

Terri Irwin remained at the family home on the Sunshine Coast with her children today and Mr Stainton said she had no plans to go to Cairns .

The loss of an Australian icon has made headlines around the world and sparked tributes from all walks of life, with NEWS.com.au readers among the many keen to pass on their condolences. 

Irwin was killed while shooting footage for a new show he was doing with Bindi.

Terri would have the final say on whether film from the project was made public, the head of the US TV company that broadcasts his show said today.

Film of the death has already been handed to Queensland police preparing a report for the Coroner.

Billy Campbell, the president of Discovery Networks, which owns the Animal Planet channel, said talks on the footage would take place with Terri at a suitable time.

"It's still too early," Mr Campbell said. "We'll have to take a look at it."

Mr Campbell, who will fly to Australia for Irwin's funeral, said he would also ask Terri whether she would like Bindi's show to go ahead.

"In terms of the Bindi show, a lot of that will depend on the conversations I have with Terri in a couple of days," he said.

"I want to give her a few days to mourn and think through things. "We'll talk about that in due time.

"Should they want to move forward, then definitely we will move forward."

Irwin was killed almost instantly when the stingray stabbed him in the heart with its poisonous 20cm barb as he snorkelled off Port Douglas.

He was pulled from the water by a cameraman and a crewman, put on an inflatable tender and taken to a support boat about 500m away.

Crewmembers said he was barely conscious in the minutes after the sting, but died as his production team rushed him to his vessel, Croc One, and to a nearby island for emergency treatment.

A charter dive boat crew desperately tried to revive him on the beach, but were unsuccessful and he was pronounced dead shortly afterwards by Queensland Rescue Service officers, who had flown to the area by helicopter.

Irwin's body was last night flown to Cairns where  a post-mortem confirmed the cause of death.

"We're not going into the detail but there's definitely no surprises. Everyone knows how he died," a police spokeswoman said.

One of Irwin's contemporaries, internationally known cameraman and spearfisherman Ben Cropp, was in his own boat off Port Douglas when Irwin was killed.

Mr Cropp said the stingray was spooked and went into defensive mood.

"It probably felt threatened because Steve was alongside and there was the cameraman ahead, and it felt there was danger and it baulked.

"It stopped and went into a defensive mode and swung its tail with the spike.

"Steve unfortunately was in a bad position and copped it.

"I have had that happen to me, and I can visualise it - when a ray goes into defensive, you get out of the way.

"Steve was so close he could not get away, so if you can imagine it - being right beside the ray and it swinging its spine upwards from underneath Steve - and it hit him.

"I have seen that sort of reaction with rays - with their tail breaking the water, such is the force."

Surf Lifesavers national marine stinger adviser Lisa-Ann Gershwin said there had only been 17 fatal stingray attacks worldwide. "I think it's just an extraordinary freak accident that has happened to his heart," she said.

"A lot of people will be afraid by this, but they need to keep in mind that this was a freak accident, it was a terrible tragedy but it is not common."

Dr Gershwin said stingray stings to the legs or arms were common and, while painful, were not normally considered dangerous. She said there were many different types of stingrays, with barbs on their tails up to 30cm long, and they poisoned victims with a range of toxins.

Permalink 
 18:49 | 24/Sep/2006 | 4 Comment(s)
Thoughts

 CONFIDENCE:
Ones all village people decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an
umbrella that's confidence...........


TRUST:
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air , he laughs......
because he knows you will catch him........


HOPE:
A human being can live for
40 days without water
8 minutes without air
but not even 1 second without hope....

  SO ALWAYS HAVE CONFIDENCE, TRUST OTHERS AND NEVER LOSE HOPE !

Permalink 
 18:42 | 24/Sep/2006 | 0 Comment(s)
ICE

Hi DEAR(S),

Recently, the concept of "ICE" is catching up quickly. 
It is simple, yet an important method of contact during 
emergency situations.

As cell phones are carried by majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted at during emergency as "ICE" (meaning In Case of Emergency).

  The idea was thought up by a paramedic who
 found that when they went to
the
scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with
 patients, but they didn't know which numbers to call. 
He therefore thought that it
 would be a   good idea 
if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose.
Following a disaster in London , the East 
Anglican Ambulance Service has
launched a national "In case of Emergency   (ICE)" campaign. 
In an
 emergency situation, Emergency Services personnel and
 hospital staff would then be able to quickly 
contact your next of kin, by simply dialing
the number
stored as "ICE".
It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind 
at rest. 
 
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and 
ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!
    So please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody     will know about
 this.

Permalink 
 18:42 | 24/Sep/2006 | 0 Comment(s)
The Donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less


Permalink 
 18:41 | 24/Sep/2006 | 2 Comment(s)
True Management Joke

A Senior Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the
cafeteria for coffee.
He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there.
To Kill time he decides to have fun
with him.
He calls him.
Senior Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?
Canteen boy smiles...
Senior Manager - what are your future plans?
Canteen boy keeps quiet...
Senior Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?
 
Canteen boy gives a cold stare.
Senior Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch
nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai...
naam hai..........,
shohrat hai.........,
paisa hai............
Izzat Hai.............,
 
tumhare paas kya hai?
Scroll down to find out his answer
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki "Mere
paas Maa hain" or those stupid Pj - "Mere Paas Raaj Maa Hai Types"
Just Scroll some more..............
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas bahut KAAM hai....
Senior Manager leaves the cafeteria silently

Permalink 
 18:36 | 24/Sep/2006 | 1 Comment(s)
CHIKUNGUNYA FEVER




Safety Precautions for Chikungunya Fever Casualties
Standard Precautions defined by the 1996 CDC guidelines should be
adopted
for handling patients.
Mosquito control should be practiced.

Synopsis of Agent Properties Causative organism:
(Systematic name in 1997)  Chikungunya virus
Alternative names:  Buggy Creek virus
Alternative disease names: None

ICTV Acronym CHIKV
Properties: Family: Togaviridae
Genus: Alphavirus
A positive-sense, single-stranded RNA virus.
Click here for a detailed description of Alphaviruses
Vector involvement: The disease is spread by culicine mosquitoes.



Key Diagnostic Tests.
Sudden severe headache, chills, fever, joint and muscle pain are the
commonest symptoms.

Detection of antigens or antibody to the agent in the blood (serology)
ELISA is available
An IgM capture ELISA is necessary to distinguish the disease from
dengue
fever.
Differential Diagnosis
Other disease or conditions that need to be eliminated
Other infectious diseases Other problems
Dengue fever
None


Symptoms and effects.

After an incubation period of 3-12 days there is a sudden onset of
flu-like
symptoms including a severe headache, chills, fever (>40°C,104°F),
joint
pain, nausea and vomiting. The joints of the extermities in particular
become swollen and painful to the touch. A rash may sometimes occur.
Hemorrhage is rare and all but a few patients recover within 3-5 days.
Some
can suffer for joint pain for months. Children may display neurological
symptoms.



Medical and Physical Countermeasures.

Vaccination (Immunoprophylaxis)

A vaccine is not available.

Specific Therapy

No specific therapies are available.

Supportive care

Symptoms are treated, e.g. with analgesics and anticonvulsants.

Decontamination The virus is killed by common disinfectants, moist heat
and
drying. The vector (a mosquito) also needs to be controlled with
insecticides.

Agent Properties and Potential Uses

Chikungunya virus is highly infective and disabling but is not
transmissible between people. It would most likely be dispensed as an
aerosol or by the release of infected mosquitos. The disabling joint
pain
and fever, the lack of a suitable animal reservoir in Western countries
and
its lack of lethality make it a very "clean" weapon that could be used
against key civilian installations. The name comes from the Swahili for
"that which bends up" that is a reference to the positions that victims
take to relieve the joint pain.

Permalink 
 12:22 | 22/Sep/2006 | 5 Comment(s)
Microsoft

 A Jobless man applied for the position  of "office boy" at Microsoft.
>
> The HR manager interviewed  him then watched him cleaning the floor
as a
> test.
>
> "You are  employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll
send
> you
> the  application to fill in, as well as date when you may
> start".
>
> The man  replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".
"I'm
> sorry",  said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that  means
you
> do not  exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
>
> The man left  with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with
only
> $10
> in his pocket. He  then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 
10Kg
> tomato crate. He then  sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In
less
> than two hours,  he succeeded to double his capital. He  repeated the
> operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized
that
> he
> can survive by this way,  and started to go everyday earlier, and
return
> late. Thus, his money  doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he
bought a
> cart, then a truck, and  then he had  his own fleet of delivery
vehicles.
> 5
> years later,  the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.
He
> started to plan his  family's future, and decided to have a life
> insurance.
> He called an  insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the
> conversation  was concluded the broker asked him his email.
>
> The man replied, "I don't  have an email."
>
> The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email,  and yet
have
> succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could  have
been
> if
> you had an e mail?!!"
>
> The man thought for a  while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy
at
> Microsoft!"
>
> Moral of the story :
> M1 - Internet is not  the solution to your life.
> M2 - If you don't have internet, and work  hard, you can be a
millionaire.
> M3 - If you received this message by  email, you are closer to being
an
> office boy/girl, than a millionaire...

Permalink